Addicted To Anger?
One way to consider anger is what I call the "Build-up/Blow-up Theory of Anger." At the turn of the century Freud relied on the popular scientific theory of his day, hydraulic theory, to explain how psychic energy worked. In hydraulic theory, a pressure or force is either released or it causes pressure in some other part of the system. Let me use the example of a pressure cooker to link anger and hydraulic theory. Imagine a pressure cooker with a flame underneath and the pressure building up. The steam inside the cooker is equivalent to anger and one of the ways to release the steam is to take the lid off the pressure cooker. As a child, I used to ask my mother when she cooked chicken and vegetables in the pressure cooker to please take off the lid so we could eat our lunch. She said it was dangerous to take off the lid too soon. She ran cold water on it and I begged her again. Finally, out of frustration, she took the lid off, steam rushed out, and she got burned.
"Maybe if I get it all out, I will be okay?" Those of us with anger problems may be encouraged to express our anger. We may be told that it is good to get it out. We might be told that anger can even harm us physically if we don't express it. Many who believe in the hydraulic theory of anger even suggest a big release (catharsis) for anger.
Expressive therapy, often associated with encounter groups and psychodrama, encourages the pounding of pillows, yelling and screaming or psychodrama with players representing people in your past that you are angry at. In psychodrama, you are encouraged to yell and tell these people how you really feel. The cathartic model in psychotherapy was the first path I chose in my attempt to get the destructive aspects of my anger under control. In Los Angeles in the late 1960s and early 1970s, proponents of this model believed that our culture had been too restrictive about anger. We needed to "let it out" and "express ourselves." "Let those feelings out!" the facilitators would cheer me on as I screamed my rage.
This approach was believed to be a good antidote to the leftover repression of the Victorian era. The idea was that we could heal and become whole if we just let ourselves go and trusted our impulses.
There was value in this model for me and there still is value for many men in cathartic expression-pounding pillows and screaming profanity until exhaustion. The value can be to become less afraid of our anger, to experience the underlying feelings of grief. Often, tender yearnings hide beneath the rage. Sobbing comes after the screaming. The guilt about anger, hatred and rage dissolves to some extent when the rage outburst is accepted and welcomed by a therapy group. Crying in the arms of loving people and being held afterward can be a very satisfying experience. However, the research evidence does not support that using this model in any way reduces rage outbursts during the rest of our lives.
No matter how good and nurturing the cathartic experience was, my anger outbursts only got worse during this time.
From Anger Busting 101 by Newton Hightower. Copyright © 2002 by Newton Hightower.
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