by Marty Brenner, CCDC

When times are good, having healthy relationships can be easy. However, when times are tough, we need the support provided by a productive, mutually beneficial, healthy relationship; it is from such relationships that we derive the sense of worth and validation that is needed to weather tough times. Tough times can lead to problems with anger, loss of control, or development of bad habits, such as, addiction to drugs or alcohol.

Contrary to what might be believed, it is very easy to learn how to develop a healthy relationship in tough times. A few inner directed and outward focused steps will help anyone build the kind of relationship that serves as a suit of armor and an anchorage in battling the turbulent seas of hard times.

First, Develop a Better You

Start by cultivating a more positive image of yourself. Next, set goals that challenge, but that are achievable with effort. While you should strive to strengthen your weak points, don’t obsess over them or give in to anger; focus your energies on your strong points and don’t be afraid or hesitant of patting yourself on the back for your achievements – just, don’t overdo it.

Make learning a continuous part of your life. Try to learn a new skill every week at first and then throw caution to the wind and try to learn something new every day. Take your intellectual pursuit into previously uncharted territory. For instance, set a goal to learn a new language. Start with an easy language like Spanish, which is similar to English to make self-study a relatively easy task. After you’ve developed a moderate degree of fluency in an easy language, dive into a harder language, such as, Chinese or Arabic. Programs like Rosetta Stone are available on line to help you master many languages. While you’re at it, don’t just focus on learning to speak, understand and read the language, but learn the culture behind the language. You should also consider hobbies like art, yoga, etc.

Don’t neglect physical improvement

Get adequate rest, exercise and establish a healthy diet. Avoid drugs or excess alcohol consumption. The ancient Greeks were on to something with their philosophy of a healthy mind in a healthy body. More importantly, when you’re fit and healthy, and you have mastered new intellectual skills, you will find that you feel spiritually better as well.

Reach Out to Others

No man is an island. Take the better you on the road; reach out and communicate to others as you undergo your transformation into a better version of yourself. Share what you learn with others and take the best that they have to offer. Seek mentoring from those who have skills and abilities you admire and offer your skills to others.

When times are tough and the journey is filled with obstacles, the power of shared knowledge and striving will help to smooth over the rough spots. Problems that seem insurmountable to one often fall easily if attacked by many working together. Communicate your feelings honestly and candidly; this will encourage others to communicate with you in the same manner; good communication is the heart and soul of an effective relationship, so work hard on those communication skills.

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