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Marci H: Anger Management Paved the Road to Sobriety

marci still 1 -thumb-350x196-26213On July 21, 2009 MBRC Counselor Ellery Holesapple waited for Marci outside the Alaska Air baggage claim at LAX. And waited. And waited.

Finally he called to report Marci must have missed the plane. No, we said, her husband had just heard from her.

“She walked right past me waiting for her with a sign that had her name printed on it,” recalls Ellery four and a half years later. “When I reached her by phone she stated she tried to score crack from the guy on the island (where people wait for shuttles) at LAX. It took another 15-20 minutes talking with her on the phone before she would tell me where she was.
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Good Anger

by Marty Brenner

emoticonsHumans possess a wide variety of emotions, some positive and others negative. Love, affection, safety and respect are positive emotions that make you feel good inside. Negative emotions, such as loneliness, fear and anger feel unpleasant. We are sometimes taught as very young children to express only positive emotions and suppress negative ones rather than dealing with the issues that triggered these responses. Despite cultural taboos against expressing negative emotions, anger does play a positive role in your life – there is such a thing as “good anger.”

Anger is the emotion you feel towards something that is offensive, dangerous or annoying. You need this emotion to protect yourself against a cruel and dangerous world and to set boundaries with others. An angry outburst is a clear signal that someone has offended you and a sign that you are willing to fight back. People are less likely to continue a behavior if they know the activity will elicit an angry response.
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Anger and Relationships General Overview and Differences

by Marty Brenner

arguingYou build relationships with others when you trust others with your thoughts and feelings. In a healthy relationship, you communicate your ideas and emotions with people that you know will respond in a positive way. A relationship is an emotional compromise, where participants agree to certain terms of behavioral limits. When one person breaks the agreement by making a mistake or doing a bad thing, the other party might respond by initiating an angry dialog between the two. This breakdown in communication can ruin the relationship as each party behaves in an increasingly aggressive fashion. Left unaddressed, anger dissolves the foundation of the relationship.
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Untreated Bad Behavior by Celebrities Not Good For Our Children

By Marty Brenner, C.C.D.C. #104227

Anger Management Beverly HillsIt seems that hardly a day goes by that we don’t read of some celebrity engaging in destructive activity; from drunken driving to barroom brawls. Beyond what this says about the individual engaging in this activity, many sports and entertainment personalities, whether they wish it or not, are role models for today’s youth. Young people often emulate the styles and actions of their role models including, unfortunately, those that have to be categorized as anti-social or dysfunctional.

Outbursts of negative, destructive actions are often a cry for help and attention from the malefactor, indicating some unmet need in the person’s life, or a reaction to a situation which the individual feels is out of personal control. The outbursts often give momentary feelings of relief, but this is transitory, and more often than not leads to feelings of guilt and anger. When engaged in again and again, it is addictive behavior which needs treatment if it is to be brought under control. While there have been instances of authorities stepping in to deal with celebrity misbehavior, more often than not, such actions go unsanctioned. This often leads the individual to ratchet up the actions and develop a feeling of privilege. Click here to read more »

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How to Build a Healthy Relationship in Tough Times

By Marty Brenner, C.C.D.C. #104227

When times are good, having healthy relationships can be easy. However, when times are tough, we need the support provided by a productive, mutually beneficial, healthy relationship; it is from such relationships that we derive the sense of worth and validation that is needed to weather tough times. Tough times can lead to problems with anger, loss of control, or development of bad habits, such as, addiction to drugs or alcohol.

Contrary to what might be believed, it is very easy to learn how to develop a healthy relationship in tough times. A few inner directed and outward focused steps will help anyone build the kind of relationship that serves as a suit of armor and an anchorage in battling the turbulent seas of hard times. Click here to read more »

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