by Marty Brenner

Couple screamingWe are born with emotions to help us cope with the world but we often have the most trouble coping with our emotions. Humans are born with all sorts of feelings to guide them through life, from anger to happiness and everywhere in between. You choose a spouse based on your love for that person, or you give to a charity because you feel empathy for a cause. Nature provided humans with protective emotions, like fear and anger. Fear and anger are the two emotional components of the fight-or-flight response- fear makes you run from threats while anger gives you the strength to stand and fight. While all humans come equipped with emotions, we are not all well-equipped to cope with some of these emotions, especially strong emotions like anger.

The emotion of anger is unavoidable, instilled into each and every human. Anger gives you the emotional and physical power to overcome potentially life-threatening situations. Anger allowed prehistoric man to summon the courage and strength to kill large, ferocious prey and to ward off invaders. Modern man has developed better tools for gathering food and protecting his home but he hasn’t necessarily gotten any better at coping with the natural, residual emotion of anger. Feelings of rage come to the surface during the most stressful modern events, like traffic jams, crowded shopping malls and difficult work settings. You still use anger to protect yourself but from very different enemies than nature intended. Modern man needs to use new methods to deal with this ancient emotion.
You learned to cope with anger largely by watching how your parents dealt with it. You observed your parents’ reaction to unreasonable bosses, stressful marriages, bad financial situations, congested urban life, addictions and fatigue. As an adult, you probably cope with your stress and anger in much the same way as your parents did. The angry acorn does not fall far from the frustrated tree, so to speak.

Your parents either endorsed free expression of all your emotions, including anger, or you were taught to cope with some or all of your feelings by suppressing them. Some societal and family units frown on the expression of negative emotions, especially anger. Repression becomes almost genetic, passed from generation to generation. You learn how to repress or express your feelings from your parents and you pass these coping mechanisms, or the lack of them, to your children.

There are several aspects to coping with anger, and you must grab control of each facet of the emotion to truly manage it. To master anger, you must first properly express your feelings and establish clear boundaries. You’ll need to release your anger so that it does not accumulate and snowball into rage. A proper expression of anger helps you resolve those conflicts initiated by or are the result of anger. Learn to calm yourself enough to think your way out of the emotional storm to eventually find yourself in a reasonable state of mind. Finally, effective coping with anger means you have increased your anger awareness to the point that you know what makes you angry and have learned how to avoid those circumstances. Coping with anger means you have learned to manage your angry emotions and use them to your advantage.

Why Marty?

Marty has been providing guidance and counseling for the last 20 years to a wide and diverse range of people.

Individuals challenged with various addictions including but not limited to – substance abuse, alcohol, and anger.

Marty is a certified chemical dependency counselor and anger management facilitator.

Affectionately known as “Marty”, he has positively influenced and helped reshape the lives of many people in recovery, ranging from ex-cons to his high profile clients in the Delray Beach, Florida.

Marty is an excellent resource with in-depth knowledge of all of the current trends in the substance abuse and mental health treatment fields, as well as individual options for successful recovery outcomes.

Today, residential facilities simply aren’t an option for many clients with busy work schedules and travel conflicts, which is why Marty tailors programs to meet the needs of these clients, whether it be in his office or a location of their choosing.

His approach is casual and non-threatening. Marty is very kind and caring.

As you know, it is difficult to convince clients that anger management or substance abuse treatment is critical. Career commitments, privacy, reputation and other concerns may conflict in making treatment the priority it should be.

It is Marty’s primary goal to help people rebuild lives using tried and true techniques.

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