by Marty Brenner
You don’t want to get angry all the time but it just seems to always happen. Every day, you have to deal with the same people doing the same irritating things, and it always ends up setting you off. You are stuck in a rut of habitual anger. Of all the bad habits you develop over the years, habitual anger inflicts some of the worst damage on your relationships and your emotional well-being. Anger is meant to be a momentary reaction to a terrible event – nature did not intend for you to live in a constant state of anger.
You seem to get angry at least once a day, sometimes more often. You may even get angry at the same time each day, your anger triggered by unpleasant events incorporated into your daily routine. For example, you are the last member of the household to get a shower each morning and you are angry that there are never enough towels or hot water by the time you get there. You seize your next opportunity to get angry by giving the daily finger to the guy in the red car that cuts you off during your morning commute every day. Finally, you yell at the television every night during the evening news because political corruption really makes you angry. You’ve created an environment where anger becomes so habitual, you barely notice it. Anger becomes a personal tradition.
You find yourself getting mad without thinking. It just happens, like experiencing a knee-jerk reaction without someone first hitting your knee. You may not even be able to identify what made you so angry in the first place or, upon retrospect, you see the event was not so terrible that it warranted such an angry outburst. Habitual anger causes you to always make mountains out of molehills for reasons even you cannot explain.
Anger can be a difficult habit to break. Merely identifying anger as habitual – that you experience anger at certain times or events simply because you always get angry at those things – is not always easy. Humans depend on justifying their emotions You know you have habitual anger when you say, “Why do you tell me you love me? That is really irritating.”
Most people feel a centered emotion the majority of the time, with very small spikes of positive and negative emotional reactions to the moderately pleasant and unpleasant events happening around them. You are not excessively happy or extremely agitated unless some large event provokes you to experience strong emotions, like love or hate. You can, however, foster an emotion like anger until it becomes your emotion of choice. When in doubt, feel angry.
Anger is an appropriate, momentary reaction to a life-threatening event, reserved for do-or-die situations. Anger is not the appropriate response to moderately unpleasant or even positive events. When habitual anger becomes your default emotion, you react angrily to situations that do not warrant this protective emotion. For example, you might feel anger when your spouse tells you she loves you. Habitual anger makes you angry all the time, even when you really want to feel happiness.
Marty has been providing guidance and counseling for the last 20 years to a wide and diverse range of people.
Individuals challenged with various addictions including but not limited to – substance abuse, alcohol, and anger.
Marty is a certified chemical dependency counselor and anger management facilitator.
Affectionately known as “Marty”, he has positively influenced and helped reshape the lives of many people in recovery, ranging from ex-cons to his high profile clients in the Delray Beach, Florida.
Marty is an excellent resource with in-depth knowledge of all of the current trends in the substance abuse and mental health treatment fields, as well as individual options for successful recovery outcomes.
Today, residential facilities simply aren’t an option for many clients with busy work schedules and travel conflicts, which is why Marty tailors programs to meet the needs of these clients, whether it be in his office or a location of their choosing.
His approach is casual and non-threatening. Marty is very kind and caring.
As you know, it is difficult to convince clients that anger management or substance abuse treatment is critical. Career commitments, privacy, reputation and other concerns may conflict in making treatment the priority it should be.
It is Marty’s primary goal to help people rebuild lives using tried and true techniques.
- Anger and Relationships General Overview and Differences
- Anger Complications
- Anger in the Workplace
- Anger Styles