Problems with Work, Family, and Social Relationships
by Marty Brenner
Anger causes problems with your work, your family and in your other social relationships. Whether you express anger inappropriately through loud or violent actions or whether you suppress your true feelings of anger in a dysfunctional relationship, aggressive thoughts, words and actions disintegrates some of your most important relationships.
Anger stems from passion about a particular person or subject and is sometimes associated with deep feelings of love and passion. While love and hate seem to be opposite, you often feel the most anger towards the ones you currently love or used to love. We generally hide our emotional “soft spots” from strangers so they don’t know how to hurt us. You are the most vulnerable to those whom you love the most; your family or lover can inflict the most pain because they know just where to hit you. You might say “I love you but sometimes I could just kill you.”
Some families are built on a foundation of anger. Spouses who continually exchange angry barbs teach their children this ineffective approach to dealing with anger; as the children grow, slinging hurtful comments becomes a way of life for the entire family unit. Each member of the family believes the hostile environment is not his fault; after all, who wants to be the bad guy that is making the whole family miserable?
An angry person sets the tone of the relationship, whether it is a professional, familial, friendly or even romantic association. Hostility and rage overpowers all other emotions and obliterates any positive attributes. The angry person’s rage seizes control of any situations and it can be quite difficult for things to return to “normal” after an angry outburst.
Anger in the workplace harms your life differently than anger within your personal relationships. Engaging in hostile behavior smudges your professional reputation. Your subordinates become afraid of you, rather than respect you. This fear may prevent your underlings from being completely open about mistakes or other issues that could potentially hurt the company. You may be angry at your supervisors and vow to decrease productivity as a way of “getting back” at them. Unfortunately, this passive-aggressive expression of anger typically results in poor work reviews and consequently smaller merit raises. When using your anger as a sword against your professional enemies, you may inadvertently injure yourself by getting fired or demoted from a prized position. As a result, you are unable to pay your bills or buy the groceries your family needs to survive.
Anger between lovers can be especially violent because of the immense passion you feel for the person you love. Your anger mixes with love, jealousy, disrespect, lust and rejection to become a powerful and confusing emotion. Left poorly addressed or unexpressed, your passion may overwhelm you and cause you to act out in an aggressive or even violent way.
Nobody wants to be friends with an angry person either. Humans naturally gravitate towards relationships that are beneficial and that lead to a more positive experience, and shy away from relationships that could potentially bring turmoil and pain. Being physically or emotionally close to a hostile person is very scary and dangerous, the opposite of what most people are looking for in a social relationship.
Marty has been providing guidance and counseling for the last 20 years to a wide and diverse range of people.
Individuals challenged with various addictions including but not limited to – substance abuse, alcohol, and anger.
Marty is a certified chemical dependency counselor and anger management facilitator.
Affectionately known as “Marty”, he has positively influenced and helped reshape the lives of many people in recovery, ranging from ex-cons to his high profile clients in the Delray Beach, Florida.
Marty is an excellent resource with in-depth knowledge of all of the current trends in the substance abuse and mental health treatment fields, as well as individual options for successful recovery outcomes.
Today, residential facilities simply aren’t an option for many clients with busy work schedules and travel conflicts, which is why Marty tailors programs to meet the needs of these clients, whether it be in his office or a location of their choosing.
His approach is casual and non-threatening. Marty is very kind and caring.
As you know, it is difficult to convince clients that anger management or substance abuse treatment is critical. Career commitments, privacy, reputation and other concerns may conflict in making treatment the priority it should be.
It is Marty’s primary goal to help people rebuild lives using tried and true techniques.
- Anger and Relationships General Overview and Differences
- Anger Complications
- Anger in the Workplace
- Anger Styles