by Marty Brenner

anger-pencil
Your rage defines you: everyone around you keeps their distance when you are on a rampage and you like it that way. People know better than to talk about or do a certain thing around you because they know it will “set you off.” You feel a certain sense of pride from instilling abject fear in the people you care about the most. You find that having an overall angry demeanor is easier or more effective than dealing with each emotion as it comes. Rage becomes your default emotion.

Rage is potent. While anger is generally a negative emotion, you may feel pleasure and power from rage. You often find yourself bringing up arguments and unpleasant incidents from the past, rewriting the outcome so that your rage paints you as the victor instead of the victim. It seems the more you express your anger, the more you want to express it.

Anger is a natural, spontaneous and temporary reaction to pain. Anger is a negative emotion, one that most people try to avoid. On the other hand, rage is compulsive and addicting. Anger can take hold of you even on the most pleasant days. You erupt with rage and negativity without provocation, ruining the most pleasant events.

You blame other people for your rage. It is never your fault. You minimize your responsibility for the event, feeling righteous indignation. You validate your rage by painting yourself as the innocent victim.

Scientists have established rage’s addictive cycle. An imperfect world exposes every human to pain and unmet needs. You may not have been properly trained to deal with negative emotions like anger when you were a child. You could have had your first anger expression before you were ten years old, and your parents may have even punished you for expressing your feelings. Anger and frustration build up, unvented, until you near your breaking point. If you do not find a healthy outlet to control your pain and resulting anger, you may explode with rage and anger at someone. In a matter of seconds during your emotional meltdown, your body produces adrenaline to empower your muscles and then releases endorphins to calm you down. You feel a sense of peace and well-being. You feel guilt and shame, and may apologize to your victim for your outburst, but never really address the root cause of your pain. Your victim may or may not forgive you but, no matter what they do, your victim can never fully resolve you underlying issues and are therefore at great risk for attack in the future. Now your pain is worse because your needs are still not met, you carry guilt and shame about your outrageous actions and you have lost the support of your victim.

You may even crave rage. You feel restless and anxious until you can find something to become outraged about. The adrenaline rush from rage makes you feel strong and powerful. You feel the emotion of rage first, and then seek out the actions of an innocent bystander to validate your anger. After venting your rage, you may feel a sense of euphoria and general well-being. Your body may even release endorphins after you physically attack someone, causing you to feel pleasure and satisfaction. After your angry episode, you convince yourself that your rage was justified and that your actions against your enemy were proper. It feels good to seek out a noble cause, take heroic action and then bask in the warm glow of victory, even if you are the only one who sees your emotional breakdown as a positive thing. Addiction begins when you start associating pleasant feelings from unhealthy experiences. Rage is addicting.

Rageaholism is devastating to your relationships, both professional and personal. It is human instinct to avoid potentially dangerous situations, so people naturally want to stay away from you when you are out of control. No one wants to get hurt. Furthermore, since rageaholics blame other people for their rage, your co-workers, family members and friends shy away from you because they don’t want to be responsible for your rage.

Why Marty?

Marty has been providing guidance and counseling for the last 20 years to a wide and diverse range of people.

Individuals challenged with various addictions including but not limited to – substance abuse, alcohol, and anger.

Marty is a certified chemical dependency counselor and anger management facilitator.

Affectionately known as “Marty”, he has positively influenced and helped reshape the lives of many people in recovery, ranging from ex-cons to his high profile clients in the Delray Beach, Florida.

Marty is an excellent resource with in-depth knowledge of all of the current trends in the substance abuse and mental health treatment fields, as well as individual options for successful recovery outcomes.

Today, residential facilities simply aren’t an option for many clients with busy work schedules and travel conflicts, which is why Marty tailors programs to meet the needs of these clients, whether it be in his office or a location of their choosing.

His approach is casual and non-threatening. Marty is very kind and caring.

As you know, it is difficult to convince clients that anger management or substance abuse treatment is critical. Career commitments, privacy, reputation and other concerns may conflict in making treatment the priority it should be.

It is Marty’s primary goal to help people rebuild lives using tried and true techniques.

More Reading

Share