Resentment and Hate
by Marty Brenner
Anger is an explosive reaction to a dangerous situation. When you find yourself in peril, anger provides your body the energy you need to overcome your enemy. In its purest form, episodes of anger are sporadic, short-lived and leave as quickly as they appear. The rest of the time, your mind should be in a calm, relaxed state. In contrast, resentment and hate are protracted, lengthy expressions of anger that begin to overwhelm your more peaceful states of mind.
Resentment and hate are built from the accumulation of unreleased anger. When someone hurts you and makes you angry, you repress your anger instead of expressing and releasing it. You store each transgression against you in an emotional jar in which you store your volatile emotions for a long period of time. You take out this jar of injustices and re-examine each incident any time you need to rekindle the fuel of anger. You relive each experience to remind yourself why you hate your enemy so much. Resentment and hate justify your anger. Without them, you would be forced to reconsider your position and face the possibility that you were wrong when you fought with your enemies so long ago.
Negative, protective emotions like hate and resentment interfere with forgiveness, necessary in every healthy relationship. You may have a hard time forgiving people because your resentment and hate renew the anger you feel whenever you have to deal with someone who has hurt you in the past. You grip your resentment firmly, using anger as an emotional shield that protects you from the inevitable damage your enemy is certain to inflict. When you forgive someone, you are saying that you are willing to risk lowering your emotional shield in order to re-establish communication. Forgiveness is often difficult because resentment constantly reminds you of the emotion pain this person has inflicted on you. Your knee-jerk reaction is to avoid this potential emotional risk.
The world is a complex place and, after living on earth for a few years, there are bound to be a lot of people who have done you harm. If you allow resentment and hate to infiltrate your mindset, it will seem that the world is out to get you. When you think back on lost jobs, botched relationships and dysfunctional family units, resentment and hate makes it obvious that your former friends and trusted co-workers ganged up on you and ruined your life. Even though the events may have happened years in the past, you think about it often and still feel the same anger today as you did then. You are still angry at them for what they have done to you.
Resentment and hate are crippling forms of chronic anger in that they enable you to dehumanize your enemy. These negative thoughts and emotions convert your enemies into loathsome, despicable creatures that are undeserving of your compassion or respect. You are much more capable of inflicting harm when you believe your foe is not a human being, with real thoughts and feelings.
Marty has been providing guidance and counseling for the last 20 years to a wide and diverse range of people.
Individuals challenged with various addictions including but not limited to – substance abuse, alcohol, and anger.
Marty is a certified chemical dependency counselor and anger management facilitator.
Affectionately known as “Marty”, he has positively influenced and helped reshape the lives of many people in recovery, ranging from ex-cons to his high profile clients in the Delray Beach, Florida.
Marty is an excellent resource with in-depth knowledge of all of the current trends in the substance abuse and mental health treatment fields, as well as individual options for successful recovery outcomes.
Today, residential facilities simply aren’t an option for many clients with busy work schedules and travel conflicts, which is why Marty tailors programs to meet the needs of these clients, whether it be in his office or a location of their choosing.
His approach is casual and non-threatening. Marty is very kind and caring.
As you know, it is difficult to convince clients that anger management or substance abuse treatment is critical. Career commitments, privacy, reputation and other concerns may conflict in making treatment the priority it should be.
It is Marty’s primary goal to help people rebuild lives using tried and true techniques.
- Anger and Relationships General Overview and Differences
- Anger Complications
- Anger in the Workplace
- Anger Styles