Sense of Entitlement
The world owes you. You’ve worked hard your whole life and have never done anything wrong. You never ask for anything in life, except for everyone to treat you much better than they do. You feel a sense of entitlement and are growing irritated because nobody cares. A sense of entitlement in relationships can lead to a misuse of anger.
By law, Americans are entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Beyond that, you may want to experience other creature comforts, like a nice home and an expensive car. Anyone can achieve these things in the modern capitalist world, but it takes a lot of hard work and money. Unless you inherit a fortune, you are not automatically entitled to many of the things you need and desire. You’re going to have to work long, hard hours to get what you want out of life.
Hard work is difficult and you may be disappointed if you if you don’t get what you had worked for. Chronic disappointment leads to frustration and anger. You can still feel this same sense frustration and anger of disappointment even if you did not work hard to achieve the goals. When you truly believe you are entitled to something, you feel angry when you don’t get it, even if you didn’t life a finger to attain your goals. Your anger may even drive you to punish those people who failed to give you the thing you so richly deserved.
You can impose an emotional sense of entitlement in your personal relationships. You feel you are entitled to certain comforts or rights without the responsibility of working for them. For example, a woman might feel she is entitled to her husband’s undying love because they have been married for three years, despite the fact that she has had four affairs and spends the entire family budget on shoes. She feels entitled to his love without the responsibility of acting like a loving spouse. She may even react angrily when her husband expresses a heart-felt wish for fidelity because she feels she deserves a sex life.
A sense of entitlement causes unfounded inequities within a relationship. Entitlement puts you at the top of the heap with everyone else beneath you. You may not even deserve this prestigious position of dominance over others. Most certainly, the people who must fulfill your entitlements probably don’t feel they deserve their lowly position on your personal totem pole. These lopsided relationships foster anger and hostility in both directions, as you feel disappointment when you don’t get all that you deserve while those who are bound to serve you feel you don’t deserve all that you get.
Entitlement is nonproductive in that it implies you do not have to put forth any additional effort to gain the reward. You feel others owe this nicety to you, regardless of your behavior, because of your superiority. Entitlement gives you possession of something without having to earn it, and the sense of entitlement gives you the right to become angry if you don’t get what you deserve.